UBS dress code: no thongs or stubble

UBS dress code: no thongs or stubble

It was only last year that Swiss bank UBS was forced to pay $780 million to avoid US prosecution and settle allegations that it helped thousands of the richest Americans use Swiss bank accounts to evade taxes.

Being Swiss, UBS has always wanted to maintain the moral high ground. Tax evasion aside, the bank has standards. The Wall Street Journal reports that UBS has gone to the extraordinary lengths of putting out a 43 page dress code booklet that goes beyond dress do's and don'ts.

It's all very Swiss, right down to the kind of underwear staff should wear. It should be flesh colored.

Staff are required to wear suits in dark grey, black or navy blue, since these colors "symbolize competence, formalism and sobriety." No short skirts for female staff, the ideal length should reach the middle of the knee. No goth polish or nail art. Women are advised to frequently touch up their roots if they color, as no one wants to see a female in decline. "Studies have shown that hair [that's] neat and stylish and impeccably cut can dramatically increase sympathy and allow individuals to set their personalities.''. Showy accessories and trendy spectacles are out. Properly cared-for hair and a stylish haircut "increase an individual's popularity. Designer stubble is a no no and earrings or studs are out.

Men's underwear needs to be carefully selected. It should be of good quality and easily washable, but still remain undetectable. Black knee-high socks are recommended as they prevent showing bare skin when crossing legs.

You have to hand it to UBS. The bank was already a laughing stock after it was pinged for helping tax evaders. This dress code will ensure it stays that way.


3 comments untill now

  1. Total rubbish, so as any dresscode. Does it make an employee more competent if they are dressed up? If you dress up a monkey, it is still a monkey. It’s about time we scrap all this and actually THINK about what’s important… oops, no, thinking could be dangerous, rather stick to a useless facade???

  2. It seems that some of the dress code suggestions come from the pages of many gentlemen grooming books. It may not be just a UBS invention! I appreciate doing business with folk who “appear” to have concern for their own professional look and I think it adds to the company. Maybe I am just old fashioned!

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